Adding Challenges

Before I start I need to share two facts with you. First of all, I'm currently learning French. Second, my daughter threw her French dictionaries in my general direction in a fit of pique at the end of her Year 12 last year, declaring that she would never, ever do French again and that I was welcome to the dictionaries which I'd been borrowing anyway. Never say never, my darling. Guess who's doing French at university and asked if she could have her dictionaries back?! By the way, I need to clarify that she wasn't throwing them at me. Hold that information.

I've just finished attending the Alliance Française Film Festival. Last Wednesday I had a ticket for one and, since it began at a similar time to my daughter's uni lectures for that day, she suggested we go into the city together and have lunch at Cafe Brunelli on Rundle Street. She further suggested I wait for her to finish uni and we go home together, as well.

Hmmm, I thought to myself. I'm not very good at doing multiple things away from home. It's okay if it's spontaneous but if I look at it as a whole to begin with I feel uncomfortable. The idea of lunch and the movie was bad enough but waiting around afterwards for another forty minutes??? So, I said I'd text her after the movie to let her know.

That was what my psychologist would refer to as "safety seeking behaviour" and those of us with Panic Disorder wrote the book on that one. It's different for each of us, of course. And it's never logical, except in our own minds. For example, if I leave home without a bottle of water I feel very uncomfortable because, of course, I can't buy bottled water anywhere so obviously I'll dehydrate and die.

Saying I'd text my daughter gave me "a way out". I hate feeling trapped in any way. What I should have done was say I would wait for her and only text her if I desperately needed to get home. Of course, if I desperately needed to get home I would be experiencing just the sort of symptoms for which  I actually need to stay in the situation. Go figure.

What did I do? I was fine so I spent time while I waited buying myself a French dictionary! After meeting up, however, we didn't go straight home. My daughter, you see, is a cougar. While she's in her first year of university, her long-term boyfriend is in his final year of high school and his formal is approaching. So, before leaving the city, she wanted to look in a vintage shop in the city for a dress for that. My time in town was prolonged as she tried on a dress. Had I known that was coming it would have sent me into a tailspin but I didn't so it was okay.

Five hours after arriving I left the city.

Cheers.