The Family

When one person in a family suffers from any kind of illness or disorder it is bound to have an impact on the rest of the family. How do my near and dear ones cope with my anxiety?

This is definitely not what my husband signed up for, that's for sure! When we first met I was very confident and outgoing. It strikes me as incongruous that he could possibly love someone so far removed from the person he fell in love with. The anxiety first manifested itself before we were married. It was actually in the lead-up to the wedding that I began to experience anxiety and panic attacks. I wonder why???!!! He certainly could have bailed at the time but he's been an absolute trooper with it all, I must say. He never complains and is super supportive. Over the years he's learnt how to deal with it and help me in sticky situations. He's still here and I'm very pleased about that.

One of my children simply cannot get their head around it. Usually a very sympathetic and empathetic person, they have little time or patience for me when I'm anxious. They cannot understand the fact that I have to pace myself and once even went so far as to tell me my reason for not allowing them to do something was "lame".

In a classic good child/bad child scenario, the other child is the complete opposite. My relationship with this child can be turbulent. However, when it comes to anxiety, they seem to have an innate ability to say and do the right thing. This child knows I get very anxious driving over a certain bridge and, each time we approach it, they begin a conversation with me that involves asking me a lot of questions to divert my attention away from the bridge onto the conversation. This technique was learnt after I was driving them to an audition about which they were very nervous. I used it on them at the time. Later I told them what I'd done and they must have filed it away under "useful information" and used it on me a couple of years later as we approached the bridge. (My fear of this bridge - which is not in Adelaide - developed after driving over it in a small car in roaring winds and feeling as if we'd get blown off. I know it's not possible but if my thought processes were logical I wouldn't have this disorder!) One time I had a full blown panic attack when I was with this child and they just calmly told me to breathe. Not bad for an eleven year old - at the time.

I make no secret of my disorder and have found extended family and friends very helpful and supportive. I think they see that I'm doing the best I can and trying as hard as possible to confront the anxiety and not become a slave to it.