Acceptance Commitment Therapy Part Two

At the heart of ACT is action. It could well be called Action Commitment Therapy instead and the acronym is meant to pronounced as the word, act, rather than as initials.

The actions one takes in ACT are those that help create a life, living out one’s values. Goals are seen as stepping-stones to those values. The idea is that, if one lives according to one’s values, they will create a full and meaningful life. It isn’t possible to be happy all the time. As I wrote in part one, thoughts and emotions come and go and change. It is, however, possible to live a life full of meaning. That is contingent on action.

Values: Values are different for each individual. In The Happiness Trap, there is a vigorous questionnaire to help the reader identify his/her values. It covers all aspects of life, including family, friends, work, health, spirituality and recreation. The idea is to determine what one wants to bring to each of those areas of one’s life.

Values are broad so it’s acceptable to make a sweeping statement such as, “I want to be a loving, supportive, interested, fun and thoughtful partner.” Values are like a compass by which we set our lives and are on-going.

Goals: Once one determines what their values are, it’s time to set goals. Goals are achievable steps that enable one to live by values. Goals are the action one takes in order to live a meaningful life. For example, I identified one of my values as being a loving, supportive, interested, fun and thoughtful partner. That’s pretty broad. My goals are the action I take to live by that value. I may incorporate small acts into my life such as calling my partner at lunchtime to see how his day is going, make sure I give him hello and goodbye kisses and hugs every day and give him my full attention when we’re interacting.

The Happiness Trap suggests setting long and short-term goals and doing something each day to facilitate them. I’m still at a point where my goal for the day may simply be getting out of bed and caring for my family. That’s okay by me because that’s one of my values and I’m taking action – no matter how I feel – to do so. I would, however, like to stress that, if someone is suffering from depression, even doing that may be difficult. The Happiness Trap is not meant in any way to be a treatment plan for depression, although ACT can be one form of therapy. Furthermore, if someone’s depression has made them too ill to do so, medical help should be sought.

The book also talks about urges and willingness. Urges are something we all experience and they can be strong. Another one of my values is to take care of my body. I really enjoy chocolate and that’s not a problem. Sometimes, however, if I’m upset, I’ll binge on sugar. Ultimately, I feel much worse after doing so and I know it’s not in line with my value of taking care of my body. The Happiness Trap suggests dealing with those urges by using de-fusion, expansion and action. The action that I would take in that situation might be to do something that is in line with my value instead of sugar binging. I could go for a walk instead. Even better for me, I could crank up the sound on my ipod and dance that urge away.

I’d like to stress that urges and addiction are two different things and I’m referring to the former. ACT may work for someone as an adjunct to a twelve-step program but an addiction requires greater help.

Willingness is an essential component. One must be willing to embark on a course of action to meet goals and live by one’s values. Furthermore, one must be willing to do so, even if – and maybe especially if – there is a chance of failure. Maybe the goal may not ultimately be met. By trying, however, one is living one’s values and also giving oneself the satisfaction of trying.

To put ACT in a nutshell, one defuses from one’s thoughts, expands to allow emotions to be there instead of fighting them and commits to a course of action based on one’s values. Once taking action, it is best done mindfully, fully connecting with it. Furthermore, it is an on-going process.

I suppose that incorporating ACT into my everyday life, rather than just using it when I’m anxious is now one of my goals. The value? To live as calmly and peacefully as I’m able.

ACT, values and goals

I’m currently reading a book titled, The Happiness Trap, by Dr Russ Harris. It’s essentially an in-depth look at Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT). My psychologist taught me ACT but reading the book is leading me to a deeper understanding.

ACT involves accepting thoughts, beliefs and feelings rather than challenging them. That’s what I like about it. I’ve learnt to disengage myself – to a certain extent – from my thoughts and feelings by simply acknowledging them. “Yes, I’m feeling very anxious about such and such.”

Following that, I commit myself to a particular course of action. Usually, it’s to continue what I’m doing. I’ve just come back from being on holiday and I always seem to move more out of my comfort zone when I’m away. Consequently, I use ACT a lot. I don’t want to miss out on the things that I’ve come a long way to do so I have to accept my anxiety and commit to doing those things, regardless of my feelings.

Another aspect to ACT is values. The idea is to commit to action which is in accordance with one’s values and goals. This is my stumbling block. I very much use ACT to get through whatever situation I’m in, thinking only of the short-term goal of what I’m doing at that moment.

To be honest, I don’t think about values and/or goals anymore. It’s all I can do to keep my head above water and get through each day. At this stage, any goals I have are purely short-term and informed by my PAD. A few months ago, just as an exercise, I wrote a “life plan” but, again, it was written within the boundaries of my disorder.

When I finished my allocated round of sessions with my psychologist and was doing better, I said to her that I felt like a cage door had been opened but that I didn’t know how to walk out. I don’t think she quite got what I meant. I saw her again recently for other reasons and it came up again. I still didn’t feel as if I were pointed in the right direction.

For a control freak and list maker, it’s uncomfortable to careen from day to day without any tools for planning how I want my life to be. I can plan my week, based around chores, errands and appointments and I can daydream about living in Paris and writing in smoky cafes but I find it impossible to look at what my values are and use them to determine the kind of life I want to be living. Of course, I can use ACT to deal with those feelings of discomfort!

Therein lays the difference between the book I’m reading and my therapy. Although I have no one to bounce ideas off of, the book has a part – which I haven’t read yet – about using ACT and values to make plans and goals. If ACT can add that extra layer to the acceptance and commitment I’m already using, it will be a great therapy, indeed.

(Just to clarify, I think my psychologist is wonderful!)