Statistically Speaking

I was in a car crash on Tuesday morning. Nothing major. I rear-ended someone. I didn't careen into them; I simply wasn't able to stop in time. Contrary to what you may think - given my anxiety - I'm ultra-cool in those situations. I swapped details with the man I hit, drove the children the rest of the way to school and then reported it. It wasn't until my husband, who was interstate, called that I burst into tears.

Since Tuesday, road safety has been on my mind. I feel more anxious each time my daughter drives away. I also feel more anxious as I drive. A car was tailgating me the other day and I felt extremely uneasy. After all, I hadn't been tailgating - the cars in front of me had stopped suddenly. I began to worry that, if I had to stop suddenly, there would be no way the car behind could stop without hitting me.

At the moment, I'm at a fork in the road with anxiety. I'll either be able to move on from the crash and the anxiety it's provoking or I'll have a setback and get worse after so much hard work. The latter is not a very attractive option. I like where I'm at right now. So, this is what I've been doing to try to prevent it.

Acknowledging the possibility of a setback is a good starting point. I'm on red alert for extra anxiety. For example, yesterday I was out grocery shopping and felt extremely fatigued. I decided to just do what I had to do and get home. I've had a genuine health issue for the past couple of weeks that could have caused it but, as soon as I'd finished the necessary shopping, I began to feel a lot better. If I were truly tired, the shopping would have exacerbated it. That being the case, I made myself stay on at the shops until I'd completely finished and was fine. I had a lot of running around to do in the afternoon and evening and was not left tired. Conclusion: anxiety (which, for me, can manifest itself in extreme fatigue.)

I've been playing with statistics, too. I like to bombard my mind with them when I feel nervous. Each time I've had to drive to my son's school (or anywhere for that matter) I've told myself that, having lived in the same house for over 17 years, I've done each drive countless times and only been involved in one accident in that entire time. Consequently, it's far more likely that I'm going to get from Point A to Point B safely.

Using statistics is helpful in general. I've got a greater chance of getting ovarian cancer because a first degree relative had it. Statistically speaking, what it means is that my chance of NOT getting it has gone down from something like 97% to 94%.

Basically, if the chances of something bad happening are far less than not happening I like to point that out to myself. I haven't done the morning school run since the accident but I have driven to the school three times since and have been reasonably calm. It was only the first time I had to remind myself of the statistics. My daughter has done it twice since then and I've been anxious but, again, I have to keep reminding myself that it's far more likely all will be well.