What Can I Do?

I write two completely different and unrelated blogs. The other day, however, they collided. A throw-away line by a friend had a big impact on me, both as an anxiety sufferer and as someone who is trying to live an alternative lifestyle. Yesterday I used her line in my other blog; today I'm using it in this one.

My friend suffers from multiple food intolerances and she said to me on Monday that she doesn't like to tell people what she can't eat, rather what she can eat. I found inspiration in that.

My relationship with anxiety has been up and down and weak and strong over the years. Five years ago, I went on a family holiday which involved two day cruises. There was a certain amount of anxiety but it wasn't insurmountable. Three months later, I crashed into a heap, after being well for five years, and could barely walk out the front door. Of course, I had no choice but to do so but, every time I did, I experienced severe anxiety.

At this point I don't think I could manage a day cruise but I can certainly leave home - especially to do routine things - without anxiety. To get back to my friend's point, there are things I can do now that I couldn't do four years ago. There are also things I'm yet to be able to do but I'd rather focus on how far I've come than on what I still have to do.

Like a lot of people I have a "bucket list". At the moment, there are a great number of things on it that I couldn't manage. My husband and I were chatting earlier today and he mentioned a restaurant in the city he'd like to take me to. As the conversation progressed and we talked about various things we'd like to do or try in our own city, I said to him that I'd like to create an "Adelaide Bucket List". Most of the things I'd put on there would be things I could do now.

I don't want to lament all the things I've missed out on; I want to be too busy doing what I can do. Maybe one day I'll do the other things, maybe not. Whatever the case, I don't want to feel as if I sat around waiting for my life to begin or to get better. The most inspirational people I know are the ones who are restricted in some way but still fill their days doing what they can on that particular day. My friend's line of "I tell people what I can eat" is a metaphor for that.

Cheers.