So far, I’ve had a very enjoyable year. I’ve tried new things, met new people and generally moved out of my comfort zone. Consequently, I was just thinking the other day that “I’m back on track.” As soon as I had that thought, however, I was anxious that I’d “jinxed myself.” (People with chronic anxiety have very active and morbid imaginations.) I didn’t go through a couple of years of therapy for nothing, though, and, as soon as I had that thought, I metaphorically raised my eyebrows and said to myself, “That’s not a very helpful thought, is it, young lady?” And in trying to reframe that thought process, I ended up reframing not just that thought.
A thought and phrase that helps me through hard times and that I like to share with others going through a rough patch is, “Everything is cyclic and this is a bad patch that won’t last.” I believe that but somehow I’ve had trouble extrapolating it to good periods, as well. Life is cyclic; it’s not about being “on track” when all is well and vice versa. It’s not about “jinxing myself.” It’s simply that sometimes it feels as if things are going well and sometimes it feels like everything has turned to shit. For me, the former is when I’m well and, thus, free to be able to do the things I enjoy and the latter is when things have occurred that have triggered me into an unwell period.
Without being fearful or pessimistic, it is likely that at some stage in the future I will be triggered again. It’s not set in concrete, though. At the moment I’m having fun. So, instead of fearing what may or may not come, I’m going to savour what I’m doing now while it lasts.
